Intertwine
by Tina-chan V
Summary: Sootleaf is a former healer who just wants some peace in her life. Hawkspeck is a ThunderClan warrior trying to maintain the happiness in his. By the will of StarClan, their fates are intertwined, but all they want is the love and safety they find in each other. (Prequel of "Origin")
1. Allegiances

**Greetings, loved ones! This is** _ **"Interwined".**_ **For those who haven't heard of its counterpart, _"Origin"_ , feel free to read that first if you like!**

 **This story begins 20 years before the end of** _ **"Origin"**_ **.**

 **Keep in mind that this is an** **M-rated** **story, so be prepared for possible sex, violence, etc. This story also uses nekos, which are like humans with cat ears and tails.**

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 **WINDCLAN:**

 **Leader:** Brindlestar – 5'1". Fair-skinned woman w/ long, grayed hair and amber-gold eyes. Petite and small-shouldered. C-cup. 62 yrso. Tortoiseshell-and-tabby ears and tail.

 **Deputy:** Nettlefrost – 5'10". Creamy-skinned man w/ short, dark-brown hair and amber eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 36 yrso. Dark-brown ears and tail, flecked with black.

 **Medicine Holder:** Blackfeather – 6'3". Creamy-skinned man w/ short, black hair and green eyes. Well-muscled and broad-shouldered. 41 yrso. Soft, black ears and tail.

 **Warriors:**

Dawnfur – 5'3". Fair-skinned woman w/ long, graying, brown hair and blue eyes. Lanky and small-shouldered. B-cup. 48 yrso. Brown tabby ears and tail.

Larkfeather – 5'4". Creamy-skinned woman w/ short, gray hair and amber eyes. Petite and small-shouldered. C-cup. 47 yrso. Diluted tortoiseshell ears and tail.

Reedspeck – 5'6". Pale-skinned man w/ long, white hair and green eyes. Slim and small-shouldered. 46 yrso. White ears and tail with golden flecks. **Apprentice,** Deerpaw

Skyflight – 6'0". Creamy-skinned man w/ short, light-brown hair, freckles, and amber eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 40 yrso. Light-brown tabby ears and tail.

Whitewillow – 5'8". Creamy-skinned woman w/ long, white hair and blue eyes. Lean-muscled and small-shouldered. B-cup. 39 yrso. Pale-gray tabby ears and tail.

Hollyrose –5'6". Pale-skinned woman w/ semi-long, black hair and green eyes. Slender and small-shouldered. C-cup. 39 yrso. Dark-gray ears and tail.

Leafstorm – 6'0". Creamy-skinned man w/ short, dusky-brown hair and amber-gold eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 32 yrso. Black-and-white ears and tail.

Flystripe – 6'1". Creamy-skinned man w/ short, brown hair and green eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 32 yrso. Brown-and-ginger tabby ears and tail.

Nightheart – 6'3". Fair-skinned man w/ short, black hair and hazel eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 28 yrso. Black-and-white ears and tail.

Stonedapple – 5'7". Pale-skinned woman w/ long, black hair and amber eyes. Slim and small-shouldered. B-cup. 28 yrso. Mottled, black-and-brown ears and tail. **Apprentice,** Eaglepaw

Crowtail – 6'2". Fair-skinned man w/ short, black hair and amber eyes. Well-muscled and broad-shouldered. 28 yrso. White ears and white tail with a black underside.

Grassheart – 5'1". Pale-skinned woman w/ long, dark-brown hair and amber eyes. Lean-muscled and small-shouldered. C-cup. 26 yrso. Black ears and tail.

Sunhaze – 6'0". Pale-skinned man w/ short, ash-blonde hair and amber eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 26 yrso. Brown tabby ears and tail.

Woolpelt – 5'9". Creamy-skinned man w/ semi-long, gray-brown hair and amber eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 25 yrso. Long-furred, brown tabby ears and tail. **Apprentice,** Lionpaw

Silvermoon – 5'6". Pale-skinned woman w/ long, silvery-white hair and indigo eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. D-cup. 24 yrso. Blue-silver ears and tail.

Voletail – 6'0". Tan-skinned man w/ short, dull-brown hair and brown eyes. Well-muscled and broad-shouldered. 21 yrso. Dark-cream tabby ears and tail.

Petalnose – 5'2". Tan-skinned woman w/ short, dark-brown hair and brown eyes. Curvy and small-shouldered. B-cup. 21 yrso. Golden-brown tabby ears and tail.

Lightningfur – 5'11". Creamy-skinned man w/ short, black hair and pale-green eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 20 yrso. Dark-gray ears and tail.

Cloudbreeze – 5'10". Pale-skinned man w/ long, white hair and blue eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 19 yrso. White ears and tail.

Hawktalon – 6'2". Creamy-skinned man w/ semi-long, dark-brown hair and blue eyes. Well-muscled and broad-shouldered. 16 yrso. Dark-brown tabby ears and tail.

Mottlefoot – 5'3". Fair-skinned woman w/ long, brown hair and gray eyes. Slender and small-shouldered. C-cup. 16 yrso. Dappled, brown ears and tail.

 **Apprentices:**

Eaglepaw – 5'9". Pale-skinned boy w/ short, blonde hair and brown eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 15 yrso. Brown ears and tail.

Lionpaw – 5'11". Creamy-skinned boy w/ short, black hair and blue eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 15 yrso. Black ears and tail.

Deerpaw – 4'10". Fair-skinned girl w/ long, light-brown hair and golden-brown eyes. Slim and small-shouldered. 12 yrso. Brown ears and tail.

 **Queens:**

Bluestream – 5'10". Pale-skinned woman w/ short, gray hair and blue eyes. Slender and small-shouldered. C-cup. 31 yrso. Gray tabby ears and tail. Mother of Sunhaze's kits; Quailkit and Windkit

Gorseflower – 5'3". Tan-skinned woman w/ long, black hair and hazel eyes. Lean-muscled and small-shouldered. B-cup. 27 yrso. Black ears and tail. Mother of Reedspeck's kits; Hollykit and Smallkit (8 months along)

Poppyheart – 5'1". Creamy-skinned woman w/ long, red hair and blue eyes. Curvy and small-shouldered. D-cup. 26 yrso. Ginger tabby ears and tail. Mother of Cloudbreeze's kit; Adderkit. Expecting Woolpelt's kits (3 months along). Fostering Redkit and Swankit

Appleflight – 5'7". Pale-skinned woman w/ long, blonde hair and blue eyes. Lean-muscled and small-shouldered. D-cup. 20 yrso. Tortoiseshell ears and tail. Mother of Nightheart's kits; Rosekit, Ravenkit, Softkit, and Lightkit

Sootleaf – 5'6". Creamy-skinned woman w/ long, gray hair and blue eyes. Slim and small-shouldered. B-cup. 17 yrso. Gray ears and tail. Expecting kits (1 month along)

 **Kits:**

Quailkit – 4'0". Creamy-skinned girl w/ short, black hair and brown eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 8 yrso. Tortoiseshell ears and tail.

Hollykit – 3'6". Pale-skinned girl w/ long, black hair and blue eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 7 yrso. Black ears and tail.

Smallkit – 3'5". Creamy-skinned girl w/ long, white hair and dark-green eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 7 yrso. Pale-gray ears and tail.

Windkit – 3'2". Creamy-skinned girl w/ short, brown hair and pale-blue eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 5 yrso. White ears and tail.

Adderkit – 3'1". Creamy-skinned boy w/ red hair and green eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 4 yrso. Reddish-brown ears and tail.

Rosekit –3'0". Fair-skinned girl w/ light-brown hair and brown eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 3 yrso. Brown ears and tail.

Ravenkit – 22". Fair-skinned boy w/ black hair and black eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 1 yro. White ears and black tail.

Lightkit – 23". Creamy-skinned boy w/ brown hair and light-blue eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 1 yro. Light-brown ears and tail.

Softkit – 21". Pale-skinned girl w/ long, pale-blonde hair and violet eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 1 yro. Pale-ginger ears and tail.

Redkit – 19". Fair-skinned boy w/ black hair and brown eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 10 months old. Black ears and tail.

Swankit – 19". Pale-skinned girl w/ black hair and reddish-brown eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 10 months old. Fluffy, white ears and tail.

 **Elders:**

Bloomlight – 5'5". Pale-skinned woman w/ short, grayed hair and blind, blue eyes. Thin and small-shouldered. A-cup. 65 yrso. Gray tabby ears and tail.

Tunnelclaw – 5'11". Creamy-skinned man w/ long, graying, brown hair and amber eyes. Lean and broad-shouldered. 62 yrso. Brown-and-cream ears and tail.

Honeystone – 5'4". Tan-skinned woman w/ long, graying, blonde hair and brown eyes. Lean and small-shouldered. B-cup. 60 yrso. Ginger ears and tail.

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 **THUNDERCLAN:**

 **Leader:** Pebblestar – 5'8". Fair-skinned man w/ short, gray hair and amber eyes. Well-muscled and broad-shouldered. 40 yrso. Cream-and-gray ears and tail.

 **Deputy:** Oakheart – 6'5". Creamy-skinned man w/ short, brown hair and green eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 26 yrso. Brown tabby ears and tail. **Apprentice,** Mothpaw

 **Medicine Holder:** Bumblefrost – 5'10". Pale-skinned man w/ short, grayed hair and blue eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 57 yrso. Brown tabby ears and tail.

 **Warriors:**

Weaselheart – 6'7". Pale-skinned man w/ short, grayed hair and green eyes. Well-muscled and broad-shouldered. 50 yrso. Brown tabby ears and tail.

Maplewhisker – 5'7". Tan-skinned woman w/ long, thin, blonde hair and orange-amber eyes. Slim and small-shouldered. B-cup. 48 yrso. Ginger tabby ears and tail.

Duststripe – 6'2". Tan-skinned man w/ short, brown hair and green eyes. Well-muscled and broad-shouldered. 48 yrso. Golden-brown ears and tail.

Mintfeather – 5'7". Pale-skinned woman w/ short, dull-brown hair and blue eyes. Slender and small-shouldered. B-cup. 44 yrso. Very pale, tortoiseshell ears and tail. **Apprentice,** Owlpaw

Bramblebriar – 5'5". Creamy-skinned woman w/ long, dark-brown hair and amber eyes. Lean-muscled and small-shouldered. C-cup. 44 yrso. Brown tabby ears and tail.

Adderstorm – 5'10". Fair-skinned man w/ short, brown hair and light-green eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 38 yrso. Brindle ears and tail.

Sparkcloud – 5'10". Creamy-skinned woman w/ long, red hair and amber eyes. Lean-muscled and small-shouldered. B-cup. 36 yrso. Ginger-and-golden tabby ears and tail. **Apprentice,** Poppypaw

Milkberry – 5'4". Tan-skinned woman w/ short, black hair and green eyes. Slim and small-shouldered. B-cup. 30 yrso. Very pale, gray tabby ears and tail.

Fallmist – 5'6". Creamy-skinned man w/ short, blonde hair and dark-amber eyes. Lean-muscled and small-shouldered. 28 yrso. Dark, ginger-and-cream ears and tail.

Runningstorm – 5'8". Pale-skinned man w/ short, dark-brown hair and green eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 27 yrso. Brown-and-ginger ears and tail.

Lilypool – 5'7". Pale-skinned woman w/ long, pale-blonde hair and one hazel eye. Lean-muscled and small-shouldered. B-cup. 26 yrso. White ears and tail.

Cinderclaw – 6'6". Creamy-skinned man w/ short, black hair and blue eyes. Well-muscled and broad-shouldered. 26 yrso. Gray tabby ears and tail.

Ravenwing – 6'1". Tan-skinned man w/ short, black hair and amber eyes. Well-muscled and broad-shouldered. 23 yrso. Black ears and tail, tipped with white. **Apprentice,** Kestrelpaw

Barkclaw – 6'0". Pale-skinned man w/ short, blonde hair and brown eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 20 yrso. Silvery-gold ears and tail.

Hawkspeck – 6'2". Tan-skinned man w/ short, brown hair and amber eyes. Well-muscled and broad-shouldered. 19 yrso. Dark-brown tabby ears and tail.

Duskleap – 5'8". Tan-skinned man w/ short, black hair and brown eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 19 yrso. Black ears and tail.

Sunheart – 5'4". Creamy-skinned woman w/ semi-long, honey-brown hair and amber eyes. Curvy and small-shouldered. C-cup. 17 yrso. Brown tabby ears and tail.

Birchstripe – 5'11". Creamy-skinned man w/ short, brown hair and blue eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 17 yrso. Brown-and-cream ears and tail.

 **Apprentices:**

Mothpaw – 5'0". Pale-skinned girl w/ short, black hair and amber eyes. Lean-muscled and small-shouldered. A-cup. 15 yrso. Brown ears and tail.

Poppypaw – 4'9". Creamy-skinned girl w/ long, blonde hair and brown eyes. Slim and small-shouldered. A-cup. 15 yrso. Brown tabby ears and tail.

Kestrelpaw – 4'10". Creamy-skinned boy w/ short, brown hair and gray eyes. Lean-muscled and small-shouldered. 13 yrso. Gray tabby ears and tail, tipped with white.

Owlpaw - 4'0". Creamy-skinned boy w/ short, gray hair and green eyes. Slim and small-shouldered. 10 yrso. Gray tabby ears and tail.

 **Queens:**

Dawnbird – 6'0". Tan-skinned woman w/ long, dark-brown hair and amber eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. C-cup. 29 yrso. Black ears and tail. Mother of Adderstorm's kits; Cedarkit, Thunderkit, Bloodkit, Snakekit, and Dovekit

Flashcloud – 5'6". Pale-skinned woman w/ long, black hair and blue eyes. Lean-muscled and small-shouldered. D-cup. 28 yrso. Black ears and tail. Mother of Runningstorm's kits; Wolfkit and Blackkit

Doestep – 5'2". Fair-skinned woman w/ long, white hair and green eyes. Petite and small-shouldered. C-cup. 26 yrso. White ears and tail. Expecting Fallmist's kits (5 months along). Fostering Leopardkit

Stripetail – 5'3". Fair-skinned woman w/ short, brown hair and brown eyes. Slender and small-shouldered. D-cup. 25 yrso. Gray-brown tabby ears and tail. Mother of Adderstorm's kits; Bumblekit and Fernkit

Berryspring – 5'5". Creamy-skinned woman w/ semi-long, blonde hair and blue eyes. Slim and small-shouldered. B-cup. 21 yrso. Golden tabby ears and tail. Mother of Ravenwing's kits; Copperkit and Ravenkit

Snowsky – 5'9". Fair-skinned woman w/ long, silver hair and brown eyes. Curvy and small-shouldered. C-cup. 20 yrso. Soft, white ears and tail. Mother of Cinderclaw's kits; Silverkit and Darkkit

 **Kits:**

Cedarkit – 4'1". Creamy-skinned boy w/ short, dark-brown hair and amber eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 9 yrso. Cream ears and tail.

Thunderkit – 4'2". Pale-skinned boy w/ short, brown hair and silvery-gray eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 9 yrso. Black, gray-streaked, ears and tail.

Bloodkit – 4'3". Pale-skinned boy w/ short, black hair and red eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 9 yrso. Plumy, black ears and tail.

Leopardkit – 4'1". Creamy-skinned boy w/ short, blonde hair and amber eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 9 yrso. Golden, dappled, ears and tail.

Wolfkit – 3'11". Pale-skinned boy w/ short, black hair and dark-blue eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 8 yrso. Dark-gray ears and tail.

Blackkit – 4'0". Pale-skinned boy w/ short, black hair and violet eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 8 yrso. Black ears and tail.

Dovekit – 3'2". Creamy-skinned girl w/ long, white hair and amber eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 5 yrso. White ears and tail.

Snakekit – 3'5". Tan-skinned boy w/ curly, dark-brown hair and bright-green eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 5 yrso. Black ears and tail.

Copperkit – 3'1". Tan-skinned boy w/ short, golden-brown hair and amber eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 3 yrso. Golden tabby ears and tail.

Ravenkit – 3'0". Tan-skinned boy w/ short, very dark, brown hair and dark-amber eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 3 yrso. Jet-black, mottled ears and tail.

Fernkit – 27". Fair-skinned girl w/ dirty-blonde hair and brown eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 1 yro. Cream ears and tail.

Bumblekit – 28". Fair-skinned girl w/ blonde hair and hazel eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 1 yro. Pale-ginger ears and tail.

Silverkit – 29". Pale-skinned girl w/ silver hair and violet eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 1 yro. White, black-tipped, ears and tail.

Darkkit – 28". Fair-skinned boy w/ black hair and dark-brown eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 1 yro. Black ears and tail.

 **Elders:**

Mistpool – 5'1". Pale-skinned woman w/ long, white hair and amber eyes. Thin and small-shouldered. B-cup. 66 yrso. Pale-cream ears and tail.

Beeflower – 5'3". Creamy-skinned woman w/ long, brown hair and blind, blue eyes. Lean-muscled and small-shouldered. C-cup. 41 yrso. Golden ears and tail.

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 **SHADOWCLAN:**

 **Leader:** Thornstar – 6'1". Pale-skinned man w/ long, brown hair and amber eyes. Well-muscled and broad-shouldered. 39 yrso. Reddish-brown ears and tail.

 **Deputy:** Heavystone – 6'5". Creamy-skinned man w/ short, black hair and blue eyes. Well-muscled and broad-shouldered. 35 yrso. Black ears and tail.

 **Medicine Holder:** Petalstep – 5'2". Pale-skinned woman w/ long, white hair and amber eyes. Petite and small-shouldered. B-cup. 26 yrso. Tortoiseshell-and-white ears and tail.

 **Warriors:**

Redwind – 5'10". Pale-skinned man w/ short, red hair and amber eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 40 yrso. Ginger, cream, and brown ears and tail. **Apprentice,** Tawnypaw

Junipertail – 6'0". Creamy-skinned man w/ short, black hair and blue eyes. Well-muscled and broad-shouldered. 34 yrso. Black-and-silver ears and tail.

Puddledusk – 5'3". Pale-skinned woman w/ short, blonde hair and dark-hazel eyes. Slim and small-shouldered. C-cup. 31 yrso. Pale, golden tabby ears and tail.

Silverdapple – 5'2". Tan-skinned woman w/ long, brown hair and gray eyes. Petite and small-shouldered. B-cup. 30 yrso. Dark-brown ears and tail, tinted with silver. **Apprentice,** Spottedpaw

Wetfoot – 5'11". Pale-skinned man w/ semi-long, gray hair and brown eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 30 yrso. Dark-gray tabby ears and tail.

Mumblefur – 6'0". Creamy-skinned man w/ short, blonde hair and blue eyes. Well-muscled and broad-shouldered. 29 yrso. Cream tabby ears and tail. **Apprentice,** Lilypaw

Specklepelt – 5'5". Creamy-skinned woman w/ long, blonde hair and brown eyes. Lean-muscled and small-shouldered. B-cup. 28 yrso. Dappled, golden-brown ears and tail.

Toadclaw – 6'3". Pale-skinned man w/ short, dark-gray hair and amber eyes. Well-muscled and broad-shouldered. 25 yrso. Black-and-white ears and tail. **Apprentice,** Stripedpaw

Roachwing – 5'7". Fair-skinned man w/ short, brown hair and brown eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 25 yrso. Black ears and tail. **Apprentice,** Yellowpaw

Larchbranch – 5'4". Tan-skinned woman w/ long, white hair and green eyes. Lean-muscled and small-shouldered. A-cup. 24 yrso. Tabby-and-white ears and tail.

Honeyleap – 5'6". Creamy-skinned woman w/ short, ash-blonde hair and clear-blue eyes. Curvy and small-shouldered. C-cup. 21 yrso. Pale-brown tabby ears and tail. **Apprentice,** Hawkpaw

Cedarfur – 6'1". Pale-skinned man w/ short, black hair and amber eyes. Well-muscled and broad-shouldered. 19 yrso. Light-gray ears and tail.

Strikeheart – 5'10". Tan-skinned man w/ short, brown hair and brown eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 17 yrso. Tortoiseshell ears and tail.

 **Apprentices:**

Tawnypaw – 5'7". Creamy-skinned girl w/ long, light-brown hair and dark eyes. Slender and small-shouldered. B-cup. 15 yrso. Brown tabby ears and tail.

Stripedpaw – 5'3". Pale-skinned boy w/ short, black hair and red eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 14 yrso. Black, white-striped, ears and tail.

Lilypaw – 5'0". Fair-skinned girl w/ short, blonde hair and red eyes. Slender and small-shouldered. B-cup. 14 yrso. Ginger ears and tail.

Spottedpaw – 4'11". Pale-skinned girl w/ long, dark-brown hair and light-brown eyes. Lean-muscled and small-shouldered. A-cup. 12 yrso. Dark-brown ears and tail with pale-golden spots.

Yellowpaw – 4'10". Pale-skinned girl w/ semi-long, dark-blonde hair and pale-green eyes. Lean-muscled and small-shouldered. 11 yrso. Dark-golden ears and tail with lighter spots.

Hawkpaw – 4'11". Pale-skinned boy w/ semi-long, dirty-blonde hair and green eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 11 yrso. Dark-brown ears and tail.

 **Queens:**

Amberflower – 5'9". Pale-skinned woman w/ long, red hair and green eyes. Well-muscled and broad-shouldered. D-cup. 35 yrso. Pale-ginger ears and tail. Mother of Wetfoot's kits; Goldenkit, Pinekit, and Mosskit

Cloudlight – 5'5". Fair-skinned woman w/ long, black hair and blue eyes. Slim and small-shouldered. C-cup. 29 yrso. Gray ears and tail. Mother of Redwind's kits; Softkit, Grasskit, and Tanglekit

Owlwing – 5'8". Creamy-skinned woman w/ short, red hair and blue eyes. Lean-muscled and small-shouldered. D-cup. 25 yrso. Tortoiseshell ears and tail. Mother of Cedarfur's kit; Tigerkit

Robintuft – 5'4". Creamy-skinned woman w/ short, brown hair and amber eyes. Curvy and small-shouldered. C-cup. 21 yrso. Long-furred, dark-brown ears and tail. Mother of Junipertail's kits; Bramblekit and Dewkit

Sorrelheart – 5'5". Tan-skinned woman w/ long, brown hair and amber eyes. Slender and small-shouldered. B-cup. 16 yrso. Silver tabby ears and tail. Expecting Mumblefur's kits (4 months along)

 **Kits:**

Goldenkit – 4'1". Pale-skinned girl w/ long, blonde hair and green eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 9 yrso. Golden ears and tail.

Pinekit – 4'3". Pale-skinned boy w/ red hair and light-teal eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 9 yrso. Light-brown ears and a darker tail.

Bramblekit – 3'1". Pale-skinned girl w/ short, auburn hair and amber eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 3 yrso. Light-brown ears and tail.

Dewkit – 3'0". Pale-skinned girl w/ short, black hair and blue eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 3 yrso. Gray ears and tail.

Mosskit – 23". Pale-skinned boy w/ light-brown hair and blue eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 1 yro. Light-brown ears and tail.

Softkit – 20". Fair-skinned boy w/ black hair and hazel eyes. Soft and average. 6 months old. Black ears and tail.

Grasskit – 21". Fair-skinned boy w/ light-brown hair and green eyes. Soft and average. 6 months old. Dark-brown ears and tail.

Tanglekit – 21". Fair-skinned boy w/ brown hair and blue eyes. Soft and average. 6 months old. Ginger ears and tail.

Tigerkit – 19". Creamy-skinned girl w/ red hair and green eyes. Soft and average. 2 days old. Copper-brown ears and tail.

 **Elders:**

Willowleaf – 5'2". Pale-skinned woman w/ long, white hair and blue eyes. Slender and small-shouldered. B-cup. 62 yrso. White-and-cream ears and tail.

Burnpelt – 5'8". Tan-skinned man w/ short, dark-brown hair and amber eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 51 yrso. Tan ears and tail, tipped with dark-brown.

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 **RIVERCLAN:**

 **Leader:** Mallowstar – 5'9". Tan-skinned woman w/ short, grayed, black hair and amber eyes. Slender and small-shouldered. A-cup. 68 yrso. Gray-and-ginger ears and tail.

 **Deputy:** Otterpelt – 5'11". Creamy-skinned man w/ short, auburn hair and green eyes. Well-muscled and broad-shouldered. 42 yrso. Thick, reddish-brown ears and tail.

 **Medicine Holder:** Spidertail – 5'10". Tan-skinned man w/ short, black hair and gray eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 24 yrso. Gray ears and tail. **Apprentice,** Stormpaw

 **Warriors:**

Mudstream – 5'11". Tan-skinned woman w/ long, black hair and gray eyes. Lean-muscled and small-shouldered. B-cup. 41 yrso. Black-and-cream ears and tail

Quietsnow – 5'4". Tan-skinned woman w/ long, gray hair and green eyes. Curvy and small-shouldered. C-cup. 35 yrso. White ears and tail.

Lakeclaw – 6'0". Creamy-skinned man w/ short, white hair and blue eyes. Well-muscled and broad-shouldered. 34 yrso. Gray-and-white ears and tail.

Sunstone – 6'2". Creamy-skinned man w/ short, blonde hair and amber eyes. Well-muscled and broad-shouldered. 34 yrso. Golden tabby ears and tail.

Willowberry – 5'5". Tan-skinned woman w/ short, light-silver hair (streaked with brown) and blue eyes. Lean-muscled and small-shouldered. B-cup. 29 yrso. Light gray ears and tail. **Apprentice,** Ripplepaw

Driftfoot – 5'7". Creamy-skinned man w/ long, brown hair and amber eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 29 yrso. Gray-and-cream ears and tail. **Apprentice,** Silverpaw

Splashtail – 5'9". Tan-skinned man w/ dark, blue-gray hair and dark-brown eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 27 yrso. Light, blue-gray ears and tail.

Dewcreek – 5'7". Tan-skinned woman w/ short, gray hair and dark-brown eyes. Lean-muscled and small-shouldered. B-cup. 27 yrso. Dark, blue-gray ears and tail.

Sunspot – 5'3". Fair-skinned woman w/ long, black hair and gray eyes. Curvy and small-shouldered. C-cup. 26 yrso. Dappled, tortoiseshell ears and tail.

Brookfur – 5'0". Pale-skinned woman w/ long, brown hair and blue eyes. Slender and small-shouldered. B-cup. 25 yrso. Brown tabby ears and tail. **Apprentice,** Hailpaw

Rainstorm – 6'4". Fair-skinned man w/ long, black hair and brown eyes. Lean-muscled and small-shouldered. 19 yrso. Mottled, black-and-golden ears and tail.

Silverheart – 6'3". Tan-skinned man w/ silvery-blonde hair and gray eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 18 yrso. Silver ears and tail.

 **Apprentices:**

Ripplepaw – 5'5". Tan-skinned girl w/ long, light-brown hair and green eyes. Curvy and small-shouldered. B-cup. 15 yrso. Light-brown ears and tail.

Hailpaw – 4'10". Fair-skinned boy w/ dark-ginger hair and blue eyes. Lean-muscled and broad-shouldered. 12 yrso. Ginger ears and tail.

Silverpaw – 4'5". Tan-skinned girl w/ short, light-gray hair and blue eyes. Lean-muscled and small-shouldered. A-cup. 11 yrso. Silver ears and tail.

Stormpaw – 4'3". Tan-skinned boy w/ light-blonde hair (with darker tips) and black eyes. Lean-muscled and small-shouldered. 11 yrso. Brown ears and tail.

 **Queens:**

Minnowsplash – 5'6". Pale-skinned woman w/ long, gray hair and green eyes. Curvy and small-shouldered. C-cup. 29 yrso. Silver tabby ears and tail. Mother of Otterpelt's kits; Waterkit and Shellkit

Cherryslip – 5'0". Tan-skinned woman w/ long, auburn hair and brown eyes. Slender and small-shouldered. B-cup. 28 yrso. Brown ears and tail. Mother of Sunstone's kit; Fallowkit (6 months along)

Dropwhisker – 5'8". Tan-skinned woman w/ short, brown hair and amber eyes. Well-muscled and broad-shouldered. B-cup. 25 yrso. Brown tabby ears and tail. Mother of Mudstream's kits; Eelkit, Morningkit, Tigerkit, and Firekit

 **Kits:**

Fallowkit – 4'0". Tan-skinned boy w/ brown hair and dark-brown eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 8 yrso. Brown ears and tail.

Eelkit – 3'1". Tan-skinned boy w/ short, light-brown hair and dark-brown streaks. Soft and small-shouldered. 3 yrso. Gray ears and tail.

Morningkit – 3'2". Tan-skinned girl w/ long, dirty-blonde hair and dark-blue eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 3 yrso. Golden tabby ears and tail.

Tigerkit – 3'0". Tan-skinned boy w/ very dark-brown (almost black) hair and hazel-green eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 3 yrso. Brown tabby ears and tail.

Waterkit – 3'1". Pale-skinned girl w/ dark-brown hair and light-green eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 3 yrso. Light-golden ears and tail.

Shellkit – 20". Tan-skinned boy w/ gray hair and hazel eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 8 months old. Gray tabby ears and tail.

Firekit – 19". Fair-skinned girl w/ red hair and red eyes. Soft and small-shouldered. 5 days old. Dark-red ears and tail.

 **Elders:**

Troutfang – 5'6". Tan-skinned man w/ many scars, silvery-white hair, and dark-brown eyes. Heavy-set and small-shouldered. 78 yrso. Light, silvery-gray ears and tail. Oldest person in the Clans.

Crowsplash – 5'7". Tan-skinned man w/ graying, black hair and pale green eyes (blind in right eye). Lean-muscled and small-shouldered. 52 yrso. Gray ears and tail.

Duckflight – 5'6". Fair-skinned woman w/ short, brown hair and blue eyes. Lean-muscled and small-shouldered. 49 yrso. Dark-brown ears and tail. Deaf.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 **OUTSIDERS:**

Bellflower – 5'1". Dark-skinned woman w/ long, soft, black hair and deep-blue eyes. Slender and small-shouldered. B-cup. 24 yrso. Snow-white ears and tail. Barn-cat. Mother of Fennel and Wing

Solo – 6'0". Tan-skinned man w/ long, dark-brown hair and green eyes. Lean-muscled and small-shouldered. 23 yrso. Dark-brown ears and tail. Barn-cat.

Moss – 5'7". Fair-skinned woman w/ short, black hair and amber eyes. Curvy and small-shouldered. C-cup. 18 yrso. Tortoiseshell ears and tail. Barn-cat.

Fennel – 22". Dark-skinned girl w/ white hair and blue eyes. Soft and average. 11 months old. White ears and tail.

Wing – 22". Dark-skinned boy w/ black hair and amber eyes. Soft and average. 11 months old. Black ears and tail.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 **CLAN DISTINCTIONS:**

 **RIVERCLAN:** Most members of RiverClan have tanned skin and long, glossy hair and fur. Their bodies are built for swimming, being lean and durable.

 **THUNDERCLAN:** Members of this clan have broader shoulders than that of the others. They have thicker thighs, too, being more muscular. ThunderClanners are taller than the other clans.

 **SHADOWCLAN:** Their skin is usually paler than that of other clans, due to their territory having a lot more shade than the others. Their palms (both on hands and feet) are also softer, since their ground is moister.

 **WINDCLAN:** They have sleeker bodies and often have lighter hair and fur than the other clans. Their legs are also longer, and they're not as strong as the others.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 **A/N: All these kits are going to kill me.**

 **Later, my lovelies~!**

 **\- Tina**


	2. Prologue

**Prologue: 24 YBO (Years Before Origin)**

"Three years. Three years of training and practice—for what? She's throwing it all away!"

Blackfeather walked at a brisk pace, growling more to himself than to his long-dead mentor, Sedgeheart.

The vast moor of StarClan was a vibrant green, with lush grass covering every dip and hill. Small, purple flowers bowed in the light breeze, and the shadowy outline of a rabbit could be seen darting under a gorse bush. The soft glow of moonlight rested on the landscape. Normally, Blackfeather would be more appreciative of the flourishing territory. But the beauty was hardly noticed by him now.

Sedgeheart spoke softly, just as she had in life, "The girl feels guilty. You know that. In her mind, she's already failed as a medicine holder."

"Of course, I know that," Blackfeather replied. Despite himself, his anger washed away. All that remained was a feeling of loss and pity.

It truly hadn't been Sootpaw's fault that her sister drowned. From what he understood, the two apprentices had been playing in the lake. Their love of the water was odd, but the girls had always enjoyed splashing around and finding shiny pebbles. Something had gone wrong this time. Sootpaw claimed that something had caught around her leg, and she'd become to drown. Her sister, Wrenpaw, had dived underwater and freed her, allowing a warrior to get her out safely.

Wrenpaw had not been so lucky.

Blackfeather had been the one to inform his apprentice, soon after she awoke the next day— that her sister had died. The look on Sootpaw's face had broken his heart. Of course, the girl's mother had done nothing to help the situation. Whitewillow was happy to blame her only surviving child for Wrenpaw's death.

How Blackfeather wished he could throw _her_ into the lake.

"I just wish she didn't feel the need to abandon her calling," Blackfeather sighed mournfully, "She's such a talented healer. Only three years in, yet she knows every herb and most procedures. How can she possibly be a warrior?"

"She'll be good at whatever she puts her mind to," Sedgeheart affirmed. Blackfeather looked up, turning his gaze to her. His mentor's long red hair swirled around her, shimmering as if stars filled every strand. Her glittering eyes were the color of sunrise, and filled with wisdom. She continued, "Even at motherhood."

"Motherhood?" Blackfeather questioned. Sootpaw was only thirteen years old; hardly an age where she should be thinking about kits.

Sedgeheart nodded, "I know you worry for her. The bond between a mentor and apprentice is like that of a parent and child. But you must understand that this was fate. Sootpaw is not destined to be a medicine holder. She has a great destiny ahead of her, and so does her child."

Blackfeather frowned. He didn't like was Sedgeheart was telling him, but she was a part of StarClan. What she said had to be true. The thought of his apprentice having something great in her future lifted his spirits somewhat, but he still worried. Sedgeheart had not said whether or not Sootpaw would _want_ what laid ahead for her.

"It won't be easy," Sedgeheart added, almost as if she'd read his thoughts.

"Her life's been hard enough already," Blackfeather said, feeling the protective edge in his voice.

The landscape began to fade, taking his mentor with it. The dream was ending.

"And it will only get harder," the woman replied, her voice growing distant, "She'll have to find the strength to continue on. Trust her, Blackfeather."

Blackfeather watched as Sedgeheart slowly vanished, her form fading into the darkness that surrounded them. There was much he still wanted to ask her. What exactly was it that Sootpaw was destined for? What obstacles would she have to face? But soon, his mentor was gone, and Blackfeather's attention was caught by movement in the corner of his eye.

As StarClan's grounds continued to grow fainter, he watched a single, large feather drift leisurely to the ground. He immediately recognized it as a hawk feather.

 _StarClan has hawks?_ he pondered, focusing on the quill at his feet. Strangely, the feather was completely black. Hesitantly, he knelt down and picked it up. His fingers were immediately darkened by whatever was on the feather.

His eyes snapped open, and he was greeted by the familiar sight of the Moonpool, which glimmered as early sunlight met its waters. He lifted a hand to wipe his eyes, and was shocked to see that his fingers were still coated in some sort of black powder.

All at once, he realized what it was.

Soot.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 **A/N: The story has begun, my friends. I hope you enjoyed the prologue!**

 **As always, please remember to review! Feedback motivates me to continue writing!**

 **And please vote on my poll as well! It will help determine what I write next!**

 **Fun-Fact:** **Blackfeather's brother, Silverstone, is Sootpaw's warrior mentor.**

 **Later, my lovelies~!**

 **\- Tina**


	3. One: Please Hate Me

**20 YEARS BEFORE ORIGIN:**

Sootleaf was in the medicine hut, lying flat on her back with the pale flesh of her middle exposed. She shuddered as Blackfeather's fingers roamed the expanse of her skin. His hands were cold as ice, brought on by the low temperature of leaf-bare. Gently, he pressed against the small, hardly noticeable lump in her belly.

A dreadful mixture of worry and fear twisted inside of her. She prayed—begged—StarClan that the bump wasn't what she thought it was.

For the last moon, she'd felt like something was _off_ within her. Like there was some internal itch she could never scratch. Hunting and patrolling left her feeling far more tired than usual by the end of the day, and her breasts felt…tender. Starting a couple days ago, she'd been throwing her guts up behind the warriors' hut every morning.

Despite her woes, she'd denied the possibility, hoping that the signs would go away if she just ignored them. But one prying question from Poppyheart left her in a panic.

" _So, when are you going to join us in the nursery, Sootleaf?"_

Again, she sent a pleading thought to StarClan. The bump could _not_ be what she thought it was.

But it was. In her heart, Sootleaf knew it. One look at Blackfeather's face was all it took to confirm what she already knew.

"Congratulations," the healer said, removing his hands from her belly. His green eyes met hers and he said, "You're pregnant."

That was it then. Sootleaf felt the blood drain out of her face, and what felt like a rock drop into her stomach. How could she have been so stupid a moon ago? Her heat had been so overpowering that she hadn't even thought twice about letting _him_ finish inside of her. She couldn't even remember how many times they'd mated that night.

StarClan, she was stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"Judging by the look on your face, I'm guessing this wasn't planned," Blackfeather commented. Outwardly, he looked relaxed, but Sootleaf could see the concern in his eyes. In that moment, she wanted to throw her arms around him and cry.

She sat up slowly, feeling light-headed as she replied, "No…no it wasn't."

Blackfeather sighed and stood. He walked to the other end of the medicine hut, minding the small fire that burned in the center of the floor. Shadows cast by the flames danced on the woven walls. The hut was warm, if not a little stuffy, sharply contrasting the frigid outside air.

"Is…is there any way to stop it?" Sootleaf asked quietly. A small part of her felt disgusted by her own words. But she couldn't be pregnant. Not with half-Clan kits. She could already imagine the strife it would cause.

Blackfeather turned sharply, " _What?_ "

Sootleaf winced. That tone of disbelief and shock was one she rarely heard, and it brought back memories of mistakes during her time as his apprentice. But this was much bigger than using the wrong herb for a poultice.

Not meeting his eyes, she said, "I can't have kits. Not…not now, anyways. Please, just tell me if there's a way to stop this. Is there an herb or..?"

"Of course there is," Blackfeather stated after a moment of silence. He came back towards her, his face grim as he knelt down, "But it could very well kill you too. And I'm not letting that happen."

"But—"

"I know you're afraid. But that's no reason to risk your life or those of your kits," the healer said. His voice was calm, but firm. He rested a hand on her shoulder as he continued, "I can tell you right now, it wouldn't be worth it."

Blackfeather's eyes bore into her. Hesitantly, Sootleaf looked up from her lap to meet them. In an instant, she felt like a young apprentice again. The amount of concern and care on Blackfeather's face was the same as on the day Wrenpaw died. It was so different from his usual firm personality, and clearly showed how serious this was to him.

"Tell me you'll at least take a day or two to fully think about it," he requested.

She didn't want to. If she took the herb now, there would be nothing that could be done about it afterwards. She wouldn't have to tell anyone—wouldn't have to tell _him_.

But Blackfeather was insisting.

Sootleaf nodded and replied, "Okay…I'll think about it."

"Good," the medicine holder sighed, relaxing. He patted her shoulder reassuringly, "Here, take these."

Sootleaf looked down, scanning the handful of herbs that the man held. Burnet for strength, juniper to soothe, and poppy seeds for rest. She took them, frowning as the withered burnet crunched in her hand. The juniper berries were small and wrinkled. As it was leaf-bare, herbs were a precious commodity, limited in supply.

"I think you should save these for when they're needed," Sootleaf advised, pushing the bundle back into the healer's hands. But Blackfeather didn't take them.

He snorted, "We're already halfway through, Sootleaf. I can spare a few herbs for a distressed queen. And you know how Brindlestar's been with the amount of kits we have right now."

Sootleaf frowned. Brindlestar had indeed been extending more energy towards caring for queens and kits, as there were currently seven different litters in the nursery. And more were on the way.

She clenched the herbs in her hand. Already, she was being lumped into that category; pregnant and in need of care. It made her stomach turn.

"Just take them," Blackfeather said, standing, "I can collect more tomorrow."

Sootleaf huffed, taking the herbs into her mouth. After spending three years as his apprentice, she knew there was no real point in arguing further. Blackfeather would very likely shove the medicine down her throat if he felt the need to.

She willed herself not to cringe. Though there was hardly any taste in the herbs, a bitter tang coated her tongue. The crunching leaves and hard berries only added to the unpleasantness. Even after being a healer apprentice, she could never get used to swallowing herbs.

When she forced the mixture down, she shuddered, "There. Done."

"Good. Now go get some rest. I'll tell Nettlefrost not to put you on any patrols, and I hope you didn't want to go to the Gathering," Blackfeather said, "Because you aren't."

"That's fine," Sootleaf replied. Though she managed to level her voice, her heart started pounding at the mention of the Gathering. She'd completely forgotten about it. Great StarClan, why didn't she wait a day or two more to be examined? At least then, she'd have a moon to figure out what to do and how to explain the situation. But no, tonight was a full-moon.

Tonight was when she always met him.

She stood, hastily making her way towards the exit. She didn't want Blackfeather to see her distress, lest he start asking questions. She just needed to get to her nest and _think_.

"Sootleaf," Blackfeather's voice made her pause, "I'm serious about you thinking about this. Take your time, but try not to stress yourself. This is important."

"Okay," Sootleaf replied. It came out rushed. She ducked out of the medicine hut before the healer could say more.

The frigid leaf-bare wind was hardly noticed by her as she trudged towards the warriors' hut. Snow-sludge gave way to her footfalls, leaving prints on the ground. Despite the cold, several of her clanmates were outside. Sootleaf kept her head down, not wanting to attract their attention. She thanked StarClan that Lightningfur and Hollyrose were nowhere in sight. She didn't think she could handle any questions from them right now.

There were a few other warriors in the hut. Thankfully, all of them seemed to be asleep. If any of them were awake, they ignored her.

Weary, Sootleaf dropped into her nest, curling into a ball.

She stared bleakly at the woven wall of the hut. Though her nest was soft with a deer's pelt, she felt cold all over. She was pregnant. That in itself wouldn't be so terrible if she didn't know the father wasn't in her Clan.

There was no way she could go through with this. The mere thought of her belly growing—and her clanmates discovering what she'd done—made her stomach twist with a wave of nausea. But for all she knew, that was just because of the kits.

What if her clanmates found out? Whitewillow would shun her even more than she already did, but Sootleaf was used to that. Skyflight would give her the same, sad look he always had when it came to his remaining daughter. Hollyrose would be horrified and ashamed. Cloudbreeze too. And Lightningfur would never speak to her again. Why be the friend of an idiot like her?

Then there was _him_. What would he think? What would he do? He was always so kind and loving…but what if he didn't want the kits? Of course he wouldn't. No one wanted half-Clan kits. And he was so proud of his life in ThunderClan; the kits would threaten that. He'd hate them. Hate _her_. Yell at her, push her away, and tell her he never wanted to see her again.

She would be alone.

Sootleaf squeezed her legs to her chest, silently pleading for the poppy seeds to do their job and lull her to sleep. At least then, she wouldn't have to deal with this horrible reality. She could feel hot tears running down her face, and she choked on her sobs.

She stayed like that for a long time, letting her tears flow until they ran out. Her head hurt from crying. Afterwards, she closed her eyes, not even able to look at the wall anymore.

If he was angry, it'd be for the best. Even if she lost him. It would give her the push she needed to take those herbs. Then the kits would be gone, and she could stop worrying. Blackfeather had said the plant could kill her too, but it was worth the risk. Some things were worse than death.

Her thoughts drifted and slowed as a heaviness settled over her. Sleep was finally taking over. Sootleaf surrendered to it, praying that her dreams wouldn't be manipulated by her fear. In the back of her mind, she also hoped that the seeds were enough to keep her asleep until morning. If that happened, she could put off meeting him until the next moon.

At least the kits would be gone before then.

* * *

Sootleaf never considered herself a lucky person. That had always been obvious to her.

When she first awoke, she was calm. The familiar sound of Lightningfur's snoring met her ears. Beyond that, she could hear the howling wind outside. She wouldn't be surprised if it was snowing.

Unfortunately, her situation quickly rushed back into her mind. Sootleaf sat up, her heart pounding. She was pregnant. It was the night of the Gathering. Her mate would be expecting her. He would probably hate her after tonight. But it was something she had to face.

That didn't mean she wanted to.

"Sootleaf..?" Lightningfur's confused, sleepy voice caught her off-guard. Her friend lifted his head up, his green eyes catching the moonlight which seeped through a tiny hole in the roof.

"I'm okay," she rushed out. Getting questioned was the last thing she needed. Hopefully, Lightningfur was torpid enough that he'd accept her words and go back to sleep.

Lightningfur sat up further, rubbing his eyes, "Are you going?"

"…Yes," Sootleaf replied.

Lightningfur was the only one in the Clan who knew about her mate. She'd tried to keep the relationship a secret from him at first, but he knew her well. Lightningfur had caught on to her almost immediately, and Sootleaf had no choice but to tell him the truth. Thankfully, he didn't tell a soul.

 _I won't have to worry about that anymore,_ Sootleaf thought. Rather than relief, she felt nothing but sadness.

"It was snowing earlier," her friend observed, "It probably still is. You sure you want to go?"

Sootleaf nodded, though her mind screamed the opposite, "I have to. Don't worry though, it will be quick."

At least she hoped it would be. How long would breaking her heart take? Not long, she hoped.

"It'd better be. I'll wait for you," Lightningfur said, sitting up fully. On his other side, Silvermoon mumbled and rolled over in her sleep.

Sootleaf frowned. She didn't want him to do that. If he saw her when she came back, he'd see the pain on her face. He'd ask questions. She wasn't sure if she could avoid them.

"Don't do that," she said quietly, carefully standing. She thanked StarClan that Cloudbreeze, who lay behind her, was a deep-sleeper. The young warrior didn't so much as twitch his tail.

Lightningfur sniffed, "Feel free to stay and stop me."

Both of them knew that wouldn't happen. Despite herself, Sootleaf gave him a small smile. Lightningfur was one of the only people who could make her smile in bad situations. Aside from _him_ , of course. Her smile fell as soon as she thought of him.

"I'll be back soon," was all Sootleaf could get out.

She made her way out of the hut, careful of her sleeping clanmates. The good thing about the Gathering was that several warriors were gone, giving her more room to work with. Of course, she had done this many times.

Just as Lightningfur had said, it was snowing outside, though at a slow pace. Tiny snowflakes rested on her fur coverings briefly, only to melt away after a heartbeat.

If it weren't for her daunting situation, she would have appreciated the brightness of the night. The moon's soft glow was reflecting off the snow-covered ground. It made the moor look all the more vast, and the forest seemed more distant than usual.

The full weight of what was ahead hit her. Did she really have to do this? Did she have to tell him about the kits? In her heart, she knew the answer was yes. He had always cared for her; told her everything. At the very least, she owed him that.

Still, Sootleaf moved slowly. She could give herself more time if she didn't hurry. She followed her usual route automatically. Her mind went in a constant circle.

 _I have to tell him. He's going to hate me. I don't want him to hate me. I love him so much. I have to tell him. He's going to hate me…_

She only snapped out of it when she came to the stream. The water, though surely freezing, wasn't frozen. It bubbled over the stones, shimmering in the moonlight. Sootleaf stepped across the flowing stream, thankful that the stones were large enough to keep her feet out of the water.

Her heart pounded as she stepped onto ThunderClan land. She could make out the familiar meeting place, a tree with unusually raised roots, among the tall oaks and maples. She started forward hesitantly. Her stomach was churning as she drew closer.

When she was just several fox-lengths away, she saw him.

Hawkspeck poked his head around one of the massive, thick roots, his eyes meeting hers. A smile spread across his face, melting her heart and making it race at the same time. His golden eyes were shining as he hurried to her, giving her little time to react before he swept her into his arms, lifting her off the ground.

"Stars and clouds, I thought you weren't coming!" he exclaimed happily, his breath visible in the cold air. His body was warm as always, enhanced by the furs covering his chest.

 _StarClan,_ Sootleaf thought, _I'm going to miss him._

After the day she'd had, the need for comfort was just as strong as the dread she felt. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and hold on tight. But it would only make her heart ache more. So she left her arms dangling until Hawkspeck set her down.

"You look tired," Hawkspeck commented. He still bore his lopsided grin, "Rough day?"

 _More than you think_.

Sootleaf couldn't bring herself to make eye-contact. No attempt at steady breathing was enough to calm herself. She felt sick, afraid, and despaired all at the same time. How could she meet those bright, loving eyes?

Hawkspeck caught on to her mood. Frowning, he asked, "Soot, are you alright? You can tell me if something's wrong."

"No…" Sootleaf replied. Her voice broke despite herself, "No, I'm not alright. Hawkspeck, I…"

She cut off, unable to continue. She couldn't bear to do it— to see that caring look on his face to become that of anger and hatred. She was shaking, not because of the cold, but because of the turmoil she was in.

"Sootleaf. Sootleaf, calm down," Hawkspeck urged, his hands grasping at her shoulders. He leaned down slightly, "Come on, look at me. It's okay. Whatever it is can't be that bad."

"But it is! Hawkspeck, I'm pregnant!" she choked out, looking into his eyes. There, she'd done it. There was no going back. She wanted to run away.

Hawkspeck's eyes widened, staring at her in shock. His hands didn't leave her shoulders. Finally, he whispered, "Pregnant?"

Sootleaf nodded, steeling herself for his fury, "Yes…I'm sorry."

"Sorry? What for?" Hawkspeck asked, gripping her tighter. His smile returned, wide and overjoyed, "Sootleaf, this is amazing!"

Suddenly, he lifted her into his arms again, spinning her in a circle. Sootleaf grabbed his arms automatically, startled by the action. What was he doing? Why was he smiling?

She let out a yelp when Hawkspeck fell backwards, apparently dizzy. Her fall was cushioned by his body, and warmth engulfed her once more as he held her close, cupping her face in those large hands and kissing her.

She stared at him as he laughed, "You're wonderful, Soot! Wonderful!"

"W-what? No. No, I'm not. This isn't good. You shouldn't be happy," Sootleaf stammered out, pushing herself up and away from him.

This wasn't how things were supposed to go. He was supposed to be angry and tell her she was on her own. Then she could take those herbs without any guilt. But now…

"What do you mean, 'I shouldn't be happy?' Stars, why aren't _you_ happy? We're having kits, Soot! Yes, we're from different Clans, but that doesn't mean anything," Hawkspeck tried to reason, sitting up with his brow furrowed.

Sootleaf shook her head, "No, Hawkspeck, this means everything! The end of everything! How can you be okay with this? You should…you should…"

"Should what? Blow up and yell at you? For something you can't help? Soot, last time I checked, I played as much a part in this as you did," Hawkspeck said, "So let's share the blame and move on."

 _No. No, no, no. Don't say that. Please just leave me already. Make me cry, break my heart. Don't make it impossible for me to…_

"But…" was all Sootleaf could say. She couldn't form any other words. Despair and resignation washed over her. Somehow, the feeling was even colder than the leaf-bare wind that howled through the trees.

Hawkspeck pulled her into his arms for the third time that night. This embrace was gentler, however, and Sootleaf buried her face in his chest as he murmured reassurances to her. She didn't really hear them, however. Sootleaf could only think of what this meant.

Hawkspeck wanted the kits. Should she really be surprised? The more she thought about it, the more she realized her imaginings had been foolish. Hawkspeck would never abandon her, even if he hadn't liked the news. He was kind and reliable…and possibly stupid. Very stupid. Just like her.

But beyond that, Sootleaf knew something else. She could never hurt him. And losing the kits would do just that. They had to stay.

She closed her eyes, and returned Hawkspeck's hold. He whispered something in soothing approval.

At the very least, she still had him.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 **A/N: Woah! This chapter is much longer than I intended for it to be! Nearly 3,400 words! Anyways, I hoped you guys liked it!**

 **As always, please remember to review! Feedback is what motivates me to keep writing! Also, please vote on my poll if you have the time. I'd really appreciate it!**

 **Fun-Fact:** **Sootleaf met Hawkspeck when she was 15 and he was 17.**

 **Later, my lovelies~!**

 **\- Tina**


End file.
